it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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