I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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