Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
