Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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