thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
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shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.