do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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