3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...