my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
