So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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