Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
