So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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