By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
