Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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