it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm like, not good at living.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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