She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize