I think im going to throw up on grandma
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
