Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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