Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
