I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
