you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
