He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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