3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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