I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
