How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
