I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
don't judge my taste in strippers
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize