It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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