I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I love you. Go after that dick
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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