..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
