You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
