The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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