i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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