I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Randomize
