u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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