do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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