why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
a search helicopter?!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
