i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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