In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize