i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize