Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
