I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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