The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
