i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize