Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
