I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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