so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
