the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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