shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
