oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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