It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
