I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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