you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
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I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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