This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
They are going to name an STD after you.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
