These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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