I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
