I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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