Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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